B: What is it this time?

A: An Andy Warhol drawing.

B: He’s a famous artist.

A: He drew two butterflies and a flower on a napkin in a restaurant.

B: Did he sign it?

A: Yes.

B: Is it beautiful?

A: It’s just black ink on a white napkin. And the napkin has food stains!

B: So it’s not worth much?

A: Only about $30,000.

B: Without the food stains, it would probably be worth more.

B: No, it’s too close to the kitchen door.

A: How about this table?

B: No, it’s too close to the front door.

A: This looks like a nice table.

B: No, it’s too close to the salad bar.

A: Okay, I give up.

B: Well, there is one good table.

A: Great. Which one?

B: That one. A group of eight just sat down at it.

B: Here he comes now.

A: We’ve been sitting here for almost 10 minutes.

B: Oops, I guess I was wrong. That isn’t our waiter.

A: We can give him five more minutes, and then leave.

B: I’ll go up front and talk to the manager.

A: That’s a good idea.

B: Maybe they’ll give us free drinks for waiting so long.

A: Maybe he’ll send us our waiter immediately.

B: Every time we eat out, it’s an adventure.

A: Last time, we got seats next to the kitchen.

B: We’ll never go there again.

B: Well, the tables and chairs look okay.

A: Okay, let’s sit down.

B: Check out the silverware.

A: It passes inspection.

B: Here comes the waiter. See if his hands and nails are clean.

A: Well, the waiter looked clean, so I guess it’s okay to eat here.

B: You’re forgetting about the bathroom.

A: I’m going to just hope that the bathroom is clean.

B: You’re not going to examine it before we order dinner?

A: No, I’d rather not find out that it’s dirty, because I’m pretty hungry right now.

B: Me, too. Let’s forget about germs and focus on food.

B: I like this restaurant because they give you free bread.

A: Well, I think we are paying for it.

B: No. Look at the bill when we get it. There’s no charge for the bread.

A: It is delicious, especially with butter.

B: I think we should just leave after we fill up on the bread.

A: They probably wouldn’t like that.


B: I’m eating so much bread that I’m getting full.

A: Then stop eating the bread!

B: Okay, just one more piece. Pass the butter, please.

A: If I owned a restaurant, I would never serve hot bread before the main course.

B: That’s terrible. I would never go to your restaurant.

A: Let’s leave.

B: But we just got here.

A: Did you see the waiter’s hands?

B: No.

A: He had dirty fingernails.

B: Really?

A: His nails were black!

B: That’s disgusting.

A: And he poured water into our glasses.

B: Yuck! No water for me.

A: I wonder if the cooks’ nails are dirty, too.

B: Who cares? Let’s get out of here.

B: What’s the matter?

A: This steak has too much fat.

B: What do you want the waiter to do?

A: Bring me a better steak.

B: I wouldn’t do that.

A: Why not?

B: They will drop the new steak on the floor, step on it, and then spit on it.

A: You’re crazy.

B: Then the waiter will give you a big smile as he brings you the new steak.

A: Where do you get these crazy ideas?

B: I used to cook in a restaurant!

B: Thank you.

A: What kind of soup was that?

B: It was tomato soup.

A: That tasted so good.

B: I put lemon and butter in it.

A: The sandwich was good, too.

B: Everyone likes bacon and tomato sandwiches.

A: Especially on toast.

B: And the pickles were great, too.

A: Tomorrow we’ll have rice and fish for lunch.

B: I can’t wait.

A: I can’t believe how long this line is.

B: This is a popular restaurant, isn’t it?

A: Yes, but it isn’t a fast-food restaurant, is it?

B: It’s the slowest hamburger in town.

A: That’s because they cook it while you wait.

B: Yes. That’s why it’s also the best hamburger in town.

A: A great burger and great service.

B: Yes, the workers are very polite.

A: And they’re clean.

B: I’ve been coming here for years.

A: Me too.

B: Excuse me. They just called my number.

B: That sounds like fun.

A: Where do you want to go?

B: Let me think a minute.

A: I feel like Chinese.

B: That sounds delicious.

A: I know a good Chinese restaurant.

B: How far away is it?

A: It’s only 10 minutes from here.

B: Do we need reservations?

A: Oh, no. We can walk right in.

B: Let’s go now. I’m hungry!