A: Some people have good noses.

B: I wish I had a good nose. Mine is way too big.

A: I don’t mean good-looking. I mean good-smelling.

B: Oh. But that can be a curse.

A: Yes, because you can be too sensitive to odors.

B: I’ll say. My girlfriend has a nose like a drug dog.

A: Did she catch you using drugs?

B: Sort of. She knows whenever I sneak a cigarette.

A: You don’t need a good nose for that—cigarettes stink.

B: But when I sneak just one cigarette in the morning, she can smell it that evening!

A: Boy, that is a good nose.

B: I told her she should apply for a job at customs.

A: Does your girlfriend ever make you angry?

B: Sometimes.

A: What does she do?

B: Just yesterday, I told her I wouldn’t trade her for all the money in the world.

A: That was a nice thing to say.

B: That’s what I thought.

A: What did she say?

B: She laughed! She didn’t believe me.

A: That wasn’t very nice of her.

B: She said that nothing is more important to me than money.

A: What did you say?

B: I told her I wouldn’t trade her for any other woman in the world.

A: I don’t like that man.

B: Why not?

A: He’s a dirty old man.

B: What do you mean?

A: He’s old enough to be my father, yet he asked me out.

B: Well, you can’t blame a man for asking.

A: He should act his age.

B: But a lot of old people are still interested in dating.

A: They should find a nice hobby.

B: Just wait until you’re 50 years old.

A: Dating will be the furthest thing from my mind.

B: That’s what you say now. Wait till you’re 50.

B: What happened?

A: First of all, he was half an hour late.

B: That’s not a good start.

A: Then he didn’t bother to apologize.

B: That’s rude.

A: Then he drove too fast to the restaurant.

B: That’s dangerous.

A: I thought about getting out and taking a taxi home.

B: What happened at the restaurant?

A: We had a $40 meal, and he left a $1 tip!

B: I guess you can’t go back to that restaurant.

B: Yes, in fact, I did.

A: Who did you go out with?

B: A man I met in a coffee shop.

A: Where did you go?

B: We went to a nice restaurant.

A: Anywhere else?

B: Then we went to a jazz club.

A: That sounds like a nice date.

B: Yes, it was pleasant.

A: But you won’t date him again?

B: No. He was nice, but there was no chemistry.

B: Really? Who with?

A: A girl I met at the market.

B: You met a girl at the supermarket?

A: She was standing behind me in a really slow line at the checkout counter.

B: What did you say to her?

A: I had two pineapples in my cart, and she asked where I had found them.

B: She asked you about your pineapples?

A: I told her I had gotten the last two on the shelf, but I offered her one of mine.

B: That was nice of you.

A: She asked me how she could return the favor, so I asked her out.

B: Sometimes a slow line can be a good thing.

B: You must be joking.

A: No, I’m serious.

B: I don’t want to date a blind woman.

A: A blind date doesn’t mean that she is blind!

B: What does it mean?

A: A blind date is a date with someone you don’t know.

B: Why would I date someone I don’t even know?

A: To try something new and exciting.

B: What if I don’t like her?

A: Then you don’t date her again.

B: I’m not in the mood.

A: What’s the matter?

B: I saw you looking at that woman.

A: What woman?

B: You know, that woman with the big boobs.

A: I was not looking at her.

B: You were, too.

A: I’m not interested in her.

B: Then why were you looking at her?

A: I was looking at something else.

B: Oh, really? Then spend tonight looking at the sofa.

B: Have you told her?

A: Of course not.

B: Why not?

A: She would laugh at me.

B: How do you know?

A: Because they always do.

B: Maybe she’s different.

A: They’re all the same.

B: Just ask her out to dinner.

A: And then what?

B: And then she’ll know that you like her.

B: I love you, too.

A: I loved you the first day I saw you.

B: It was love at first sight?

A: Yes, it was love at first sight.

B: I didn’t love you at first.

A: I know. I had to chase you for a while.

B: Yes, you chased me and then you caught me.

A: Now you’re mine forever.

B: And you’re mine forever.

A: We’ll grow old together.

B: And be happy together.