A: People who live in California are crazy.

B: Why is that?

A: Because of all the earthquakes and fires.

B: But big earthquakes happen only once in a while.

A: Once in a while is once too many.

B: But you’re right. There are a lot of fires.

A: A recent fire destroyed 85 homes.

B: Still, it’s safer than Florida.

A: Florida doesn’t have earthquakes or fires.

B: No, Florida just has hurricanes every year from June to October.

A: But most of those hurricanes are harmless.

B: Excuse me. Hurricane Andrew destroyed 30,000 homes!

A: You’re yawning.

B: I sure am.

A: You should go to bed.

B: I will as soon as I finish this article.

A: What are you reading?

B: It’s about crime in Los Angeles.

A: What does it say?

B: The mayor says the crime rate is going down.

A: Then why does everyone lock their doors?

B: I guess they haven’t read this article.

A: No one believes that the crime rate is going down.

B: Maybe the mayor is just talking about his own neighborhood.

A: The city is buying guns.

B: What are they paying?

A: Up to $200 for each gun, no questions asked.

B: Why are they doing this?

A: They want to get guns off the street.

B: Who would turn in a gun for $200?

A: That isn’t a good deal?

B: A good gun costs $400 or more.

A: Well, if you bring your receipt, maybe they’ll give you $400.

B: I’ll keep my receipt and my gun.

A: I didn’t know you had a gun.

B: Everyone in America should have a gun.

A: I have to go back upstairs.

B: Why? We’re already late.

A: I have to check the stove.

B: What’s the matter?

A: Maybe I left the burner on.

B: No, you didn’t. I checked the stove before we left.

A: Are you sure?

B: Of course I’m sure.

A: Well, I have to go back upstairs anyway.

B: It’s getting later every minute.

A: I think I left the water running.

B: No, you didn’t. Let’s go! The only thing running is the clock!

A: What happens when the fire alarm rings?

B: We tell our students to leave the classroom.

A: Can they take their belongings?

B: Yes, if they do it quickly.

A: Where do the students go?

B: They go out to the north parking lot.

A: What do the teachers do?

B: We take our rosters to the parking lot and take roll.

A: Why do you do that?

B: We want to make sure all the students are out of the building.

A: If they are all outside, then what?

B: Then we just wait outside for a fireman to tell us to go back in.

A: Did you see that puddle of water on the floor?

B: Yes. I called for a clean-up.

A: A puddle of water is very dangerous.

B: It isn’t easy to see.

A: But it’s real easy to slip on.

B: Especially on these slick floors.

A: Someone who slips could hurt their back.

B: They could even crack their head open.

A: We should stand here till the clean-up person gets here.

B: We can leave if we put an orange cone here.

A: Yes, but I don’t know where the orange cones are.

B: It doesn’t matter. Here he comes now with the mop.

A: What are you doing?

B: I’m going to change the light bulb. It burnt out.

A: What are you standing on?

B: A couple of dictionaries and some textbooks.

A: Are you crazy?

B: What’s the matter?

A: Those books will slip and you’ll fall.

B: It’s only a couple of feet.

A: What if you fall while you’re holding the light bulb, and it breaks and pieces go into your eyes?

B: I never thought about that.

A: You’d be blind for the rest of your life!

B: I’ll get the stepladder.

A: Put your seatbelt on.

B: Why?

A: Because it will protect you in case of an accident.

B: But it’s uncomfortable.

A: It’s the law.

B: It’s so much trouble.

A: It’s common sense.

B: It’s so tight that it’s hard for me to breathe.

A: Hold your breath till we get there.

B: Okay, my seatbelt is on.

A: I’m glad you don’t complain very much.

B: I’m ready for an accident.

A: They say he has started fifteen big fires.

B: He’s been in jail three times already.

A: Why did they ever let him out?

B: It’s the law. They can’t keep him in jail forever.

A: Why not? Everyone knows he’s a firebug. He loves to start fires.

B: I don’t know. Sometimes the law doesn’t make sense.

A: But his latest fire killed someone.

B: This time they have charged him with murder.

A: So maybe he’ll go to jail forever?

B: I sure hope so.

A: Someone should set him on fire.

B: That would teach him a good lesson.

A: The house burned down.

B: What happened?

A: The man fell asleep.

B: Was he smoking?

A: Yes, he was smoking a cigarette.

B: Did he die?

A: Yes, he did. His cat died, too.

B: That’s too bad. What about his smoke alarm?

A: The battery was dead.

B: A good battery would have saved his life.

A: He had cigarettes, but no battery.

B: It happens all the time.